To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown
Savannah night before last.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry
jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you
pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our
lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.
I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather
important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your
embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually ____ in your
pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The ww
evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a
reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely
from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had
just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 ..45 ACP pistol
for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for
it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very
intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't
it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to
wherever you'd come from with ____ in your pants. I'm sure it
was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your
shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you
from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us
again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you
had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of
what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well
as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your
credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons
and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside
Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet.
[That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink
"pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke
the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's
side of the car.
Savannah night before last.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry
jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you
pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our
lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.
I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather
important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your
embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually ____ in your
pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The ww
evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a
reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely
from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had
just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 ..45 ACP pistol
for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for
it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very
intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't
it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to
wherever you'd come from with ____ in your pants. I'm sure it
was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your
shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you
from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us
again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you
had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of
what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well
as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your
credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons
and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside
Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet.
[That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink
"pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke
the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's
side of the car.
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening
phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while
mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a
nice long chat... (I guess while he traced your number
etc.)
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not
killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far
more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish
you well as you try to sort through some of these rather
immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the
opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the
career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next
time you might not be so lucky.. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,
Alex
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