Jun 24, 2016

Turn About Is Fair Play.... We Learned It From Big Brother

Common Sense Commentary: Nothing teaches prudence and empathy like pointing a shotgun at your victim, pulling the trigger and receiving the full blast of a backfire in your own face. Walking in another man's shoes can be a very painful experience.... but usually well deserved. Giving slaves a hard time eventually puts the Master in the cook-pot for the final meal. You reap what you sow. RB 

You Need A License For That
If  you have ever had to apply for fishing/hunting/etc. licenses, or other gov't forms, this bit of satire is funny but fair retribution. 

The Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife sends a letter to a home/landowner asking for permission to access a creek on their property to document the decline in a certain species of frogs. 

Here is the response from the Landowners: 

Dear Mr.  Niemela: 

Thank you for your inquiry regarding accessing our property to survey for the yellow-legged frog.  We may be able to help you out with this matter. 

We have divided our 2.26 acres into 75 equal survey units with a draw tag for each unit. Application fees are only $8.00 per unit after you purchase the “Frog Survey License” ($120.00 resident / $180.00 Non-Resident).  You will also need to obtain a “Frog Habitat” parking permit ($10.00 per vehicle).  You will also need an “Invasive Species” stamp ($15.00 for the first vehicle and $5.00 for each additional vehicle) You will also want to register at the Check Station to have your vehicle inspected for non-native plant life prior to entering our property.  There is also a Day Use fee, $5.00 per vehicle. 

If you are successful in the Draw you will be notified two weeks in advance so you can make necessary plans and purchase your “Creek Habitat” stamp ($18.00 Resident / $140.00 Non-Resident).  Survey units open between 8 am and 3 pm but you cannot commence survey until 9 am and must cease all survey activity by 1 pm. Survey Gear can only include a net with a 2” diameter made of 100% organic cotton netting with no longer than an 18” handle, non-weighted and no deeper than 6”  from net frame to bottom of net.  Handles can only be made of BPA-free plastics or native wood. 

After 1 pm you can use a net with a 3”  diameter if you purchase the “Frog Net Endorsement” ($75.00 Resident / $250 Non-Resident).  Any frogs captured will need to be released unharmed back into their environment with an approved release device. 

As of June 1, we are offering draw tags for our “Premium Survey” units and application is again only $8.00 per application.  However, all fees can be waives if you can verify “Native Indian Tribal rights and status. You will also need to provide evidence of successful completion of “Frog Surveys and You,” a comprehensive course on frog identification, safe handling practises, and self-defense strategies for frog attacks.  This course is offered online through an accredited program for a nominal fee of $750.00. 

Please let us know if we can be of assistance to you.  Otherwise, we decline your access to our property but appreciate your inquiry. 

Sincerely, Larry & Amanda Anders

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