I Had An Argument With Myself Today ... And Lost

This young man, me, may be overly mature but not 

                                  OLD

Not 10 years short of 100 years old ... 90 in less than a week. Well, I'm not so senile as to believe that stretch of the imagination exaggeration.  Being of sound mind, always pragmatic, and an honest realist, I know I have not had that many birthdays or celebrated that many Christmases.  I can actually remember only a very few of each, so my memory isn't perfect, but I know for sure I haven't lived 90 birthdays and Christmases. I don't even remember a single birthday gift.  Yes, I can remember meeting some historic figures like the real Lone Ranger, Tonto, and Gene Autry, out in West Texas, so I know that must make me almost elderly, but not 90 ????  No way.   And it is true that I appear to be the oldest guy in the room  .... building .... or city I happen to be in, but absolutely nobody has ever accused me of being 90 years old except in this debate with myself.  He, Myself, may be that ancient, the way he gets his words all tangled up, hobbling around and beating a path to the ... outhouse, ... in the house, every little bit. But that's his problem.... well actually .... its mine too. But that's my doctor's fault with that 8 glasses of water every single day.... regimen. So I do have two paths in the carpet, one to the kitchen sink and that other one in the opposite direction. So I asked some of you, my oldest friends, to bear witness to myself, that you haven't known me 90 years, and not a single one of you said you had... So that should be sufficient to convince old, nagging Myself, that he is mistaken about my age. But it didn't phase him and he laughed in my face... in the mirror. So I hit him in the nose but only blooded my knuckles. Only then did I come to myself ... and apologize ... and realize that Myself was me, and he was right .... I am what he said ... but I can't believe it still.  So I looked in that old senile looking mirror and confessed ... This old kid is 90 years young on this very Christmas Eve ... But I can't even remember the day I was born or how I got so old in so short a time, so my memory must be failing me too ... and ...  I reckon, if I ain't old .... who is. RB